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cactsus:

my thick thighs and basic brown eyes will win over someone’s heart one day

(via therealmrskelley)

nico-diangelcakes:

nico-diangelcakes:

So i have this giant pencil right

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I think we all know where this is going.

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the amount of people saying that they were expecting me to shove it up my ass is alarming

(via lohanthony)

somnifik:

i’m a bad bitch with social anxiety ok??

(via shilled)

katara:

even the essays i write sound sarcastic 

(via parkingstrange)

childservices:

*when you and ur iPhone cuddling*
iPhone: runs out of (battery emoji)
you: c’mon bae…..,*tickles power button*…….I ain’t finished
iphone: *groans and lifts blanket over head* bae I’m sleepy I got work in the morning hun you know that baby
you: aight baby I respect dat *kisses*
iPhone: get that charger out my ass boy
you: *wants to listen to drake but can’t cuz like ^^^ all that shit that just happened*

(via dogpuppy)

spoof:

there should be a dating website called ebae

(Source: despute, via humorking)